Place Your Best Guess
Friday, May 28, 2004
I know this may come across as a little tasteless and maybe even insensitive to some of you, but the reality is that our society's way of dealing with tragedy is comic relief. So here:
We all know that there is an imminent attack on United States soil by an AL-Qaeda cell made up of seven suspected terrorists (if this is the first time you read anything about this you absolutely suck!). I read that the plans for the attack are about 90% complete and that it will happen within the next 2-3 months. The question is where and how.
So here are some possible targets and methods. Please choose one of each to make your own combination or choose from "Other" for pre-made combinations and post your guess in the comment board.
Whoever gets closest or hits it right on the money will have the privilege of feeling guilty till the day they die.
We all know that there is an imminent attack on United States soil by an AL-Qaeda cell made up of seven suspected terrorists (if this is the first time you read anything about this you absolutely suck!). I read that the plans for the attack are about 90% complete and that it will happen within the next 2-3 months. The question is where and how.
So here are some possible targets and methods. Please choose one of each to make your own combination or choose from "Other" for pre-made combinations and post your guess in the comment board.
Whoever gets closest or hits it right on the money will have the privilege of feeling guilty till the day they die.
Targets
1.- The Group of Eight Economic Summit on Seal Island, GA
2.- Democratic National Convention in Boston
3.- Republican National Convention in New York
4.- The Statue of Liberty
5.- Random crowded area(ie: School, restaurant, theatre, park, etc.)
6.- Las Vegas Casino
7.- Golden Gate
8.- Empire State Building
9.- Washington Monument
10.- White House
11.- Theme Park(ie: Disney Land, Six Flags, etc...)
12.- The opening of Harry Potter 3
13.- Your house
13.- Your workplace
14.- US-Mexico border crossing
15.- Dedication of the National WWII Memorial in Washington, DC.
Methods
1.- Hijack a plane and use it as a bomb (highly unlikely)
2.- Hijack a garbage truck and use it as a stink bomb (very likely)
3.- Suicide bomber (Explosive belt)
4.- Bio-chemical attack (Anthrax and the like)
5.- Radioactive attack
6.- Sabotage
7.- Graffiti
8.- Taking hostages
9.- Shooting Spree (AK47)
10.- Shooting Spree (paintball guns)
11.- Shooting Spree (silly string)
12.- Flashing
13.- Napalm (very cool)
Other
1.- Water Reservoir contamination
2.- Invasion of a small town (With an army of Crack Fiends)
3.- Release of starving piranhas into public swimming pool
4.- Distribute massive amounts of LSD coated snacks in a Congressional meeting
5.- Kidnap the Bush girls and keep them as slaves for 2 months
6.- Distribute pornographic pictures of Saddam Hussein at middle schools
7.- Send out a ridiculous amount of chain mails to people's Inbox...oh wait I already have a friend that does that, nevermind.
8.- Blog Invasion (post anti-American slogans in everyone's blogs ie: "Death to America")
9.- Teach a whole population of parrots to scream "Jihad" 24/7 and release them over a Celine Dion performance.
10.- Release 100 Tasmanian Devils at a Day Care center
Problem: Men Only
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Ok. So we did end up watching Troy the other night after dinnner, and we really enjoyed it. Maybe because I'm such a big Brad Pitt fan.
Now here's the dilemma: My wife doesn't think Brad Pitt is all that good-looking, but I do.
Yes I am a 28yr-old heterosexual christian married man that thinks Brad Pitt is a really good looking man. I have always been confident and secure of my manhood and my heterosexuality, and I have always been able to acknowledge when a man is attractive. I know all men are capable of doing this but most men are afraid of admitting it and/or voicing it. This is because of a subconscious fear and insecurity of homosexuals, and more importantly a fear of admitting that another man is better-looking than they are. This feeds off our male-competitive nature.
So in light of this subliminal calamity here is a psychological excersize that I developed to free those men that are held captive by this insecurity.
Please all men reading this post choose between the follwing and place your answers in the comments. After engaging in this liberating activity your personality will be covered with a whole new manliness that you've been supressing for years.
WARNING: Please do no try this exercise if you have actually experienced any homosexual encounters or tendencies. Nor if you are debating whether to be straight or gay. Also do not answer this if you are under the age of 17 or over the age of 30 and still living with your Mom like this guy here
Masculine Security Excersize developed by Dr. Henry Bosquette
1.-Who is more attractive?
a)Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt
b)Bruce Willis or Nicolas Cage
c)Al Pacino or Robert Deniro
d)Clint Eastwood or Tom Selleck
e)Kiefer Sutherland or Christian Slater
f)Me or You
2.-Who is sexier?
a)Johnny Depp or Val Kilmer
b)Russell Crowe or Eric Bana
3.-Who would you rather look like?
young John Travolta or young Harrison Ford
4.-On a scale of 1-10 (10 being HOT). Where would you rate yourself?
5.-What is the most attractive feature you have?Why?
After completeing this excersize post your answers in the comments and go share them with your Mom and your girlfriend/wife. Thank You for participating.
Now here's the dilemma: My wife doesn't think Brad Pitt is all that good-looking, but I do.
Yes I am a 28yr-old heterosexual christian married man that thinks Brad Pitt is a really good looking man. I have always been confident and secure of my manhood and my heterosexuality, and I have always been able to acknowledge when a man is attractive. I know all men are capable of doing this but most men are afraid of admitting it and/or voicing it. This is because of a subconscious fear and insecurity of homosexuals, and more importantly a fear of admitting that another man is better-looking than they are. This feeds off our male-competitive nature.
So in light of this subliminal calamity here is a psychological excersize that I developed to free those men that are held captive by this insecurity.
Please all men reading this post choose between the follwing and place your answers in the comments. After engaging in this liberating activity your personality will be covered with a whole new manliness that you've been supressing for years.
WARNING: Please do no try this exercise if you have actually experienced any homosexual encounters or tendencies. Nor if you are debating whether to be straight or gay. Also do not answer this if you are under the age of 17 or over the age of 30 and still living with your Mom like this guy here
Masculine Security Excersize developed by Dr. Henry Bosquette
1.-Who is more attractive?
a)Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt
b)Bruce Willis or Nicolas Cage
c)Al Pacino or Robert Deniro
d)Clint Eastwood or Tom Selleck
e)Kiefer Sutherland or Christian Slater
f)Me or You
2.-Who is sexier?
a)Johnny Depp or Val Kilmer
b)Russell Crowe or Eric Bana
3.-Who would you rather look like?
young John Travolta or young Harrison Ford
4.-On a scale of 1-10 (10 being HOT). Where would you rate yourself?
5.-What is the most attractive feature you have?Why?
After completeing this excersize post your answers in the comments and go share them with your Mom and your girlfriend/wife. Thank You for participating.
It was Good While it Lasted...
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
... Even though yesterday felt like Friday, my bubble burst this morning when I had to get up at 6am to go to work because it wasn't Saturday! Darn!
A Monday That Feels Like Friday
Monday, May 24, 2004
Yes ladies and gentlemen I have discovered the cure for the infamously wicked disease called the "Mondays". It is estimated that 99.99% of Americans suffer from this ailment(US total Pop: 293,326,023 on Monday May 24th at 2:23pm); the other .01% that is not affected is composed of lunatics, comatose people, people who have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, those guys that host World-Travel shows for a living, and Bill Gates.
The cure is this, to make your Monday feel like a Friday. How? Easy: Plan to do insanely exciting things Monday after work, at least two different activities. That way you can't wait to get off work and go do them! Hey it worked for me today.
Example: I bought some art materials today that I have been waiting to buy for weeks, then I will go purchase Ninja Gaiden for the XBOX, one of the most anticipated XBOX games of the year (more on this tomorrow). After that, my beautiful wife Tatiana and I will go have a yummy/semi-romantic dinner at the Olive Garden (one of our favorite mid-class restaurants) I can't wait! Then off to watch Troy (we may just bag the movie and go back home).
It totally feels like Friday! Wooohoooo!!!!
The cure is this, to make your Monday feel like a Friday. How? Easy: Plan to do insanely exciting things Monday after work, at least two different activities. That way you can't wait to get off work and go do them! Hey it worked for me today.
Example: I bought some art materials today that I have been waiting to buy for weeks, then I will go purchase Ninja Gaiden for the XBOX, one of the most anticipated XBOX games of the year (more on this tomorrow). After that, my beautiful wife Tatiana and I will go have a yummy/semi-romantic dinner at the Olive Garden (one of our favorite mid-class restaurants) I can't wait! Then off to watch Troy (we may just bag the movie and go back home).
It totally feels like Friday! Wooohoooo!!!!
Wedding Pics Are Here!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Well it's been a while, and since my blog-host doesn't support a picture page (for free that is) I never posted pictures from our Rosarito wedding. However my good friend Jason Shugars(who was one of my groomsmen) posted some pics on his Blog. They're pretty cool, "Scenes From A Mexican Wedding", I like what he did with the Black and white. Thanks Jay!
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!
Monday, May 17, 2004
"I have long feared that my sins would return to haunt me, and the cost would be more than I could bear."
A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from the Human Resources dept here at my company notifying me of a mandatory Garnishment of Earnings from the California State Franchise Tax Board!
Basically they claimed that I owed the State three overdue fines of $300 each.
Now for many of you that may not know, the Franchise Tax Board can act as a collection agency for the state's courts to collect outstanding debts. They will basically order your employer to garnish your wages for a certain percentage according to your income.
When I first received this I was outraged!
"What? $900 [bucks from what? Are they crazy!? What in the World?! No way!I don't remember having any outstanding fines!"
Anyway after my rage died off I proceeded to investigate the matter. I learned that they were some type off traffic violation from 1998. I was even more enraged! "Six years ago! What the Crap!? I didn't even own a vehicle in 1998!" I thought I was being framed.
After further investigation I found out that the three tickets were Trolley tickets. Yes, people also get tickets on the trolley. Then it all came back to me...
...I remember going through my trolley phase when I had to take the trolley everyday from the border(I used to live in Tijuana) to go to work. I was a used car salesman at the world famous "Mile of Cars". Sometimes in commission-only Used-Car-Sales, you find yourself without any cash flow sooo...sometimes (more rather than some)I had to ride the trolley without paying. As long as you keep an eye out for the fat Transit Police, they won't catch you (Mind you I did these things before becoming a Christian). Well two of the tickets were for catching a free-ride, and the third one was for what SD people call "Trolley Jumping".
Let me explain this term (Warning.Definition may contain but not limited to the following: Decapitations, blood, animal cruelty, human intestines, pigeon pancreas, hot monkey-brain soup, bitten twinkies, and Canadians. Images are not suitable for people under 21 or Canadians). Ok...Trolley Jumping is acted out when an individual arrives at the trolley station as the trolley is about to pull out. The trolley in San Diego is a train like vehicle made up of four cars attached together just like a train. Passengers board or "unboard"(couldn't remember a term for getting of the trolley) the trolley from only one side of the train, to avoid getting trampled by the in-coming train. Since the trolley cars are about to take off, and they take off pretty fast(0-30mph in 3 seconds), the individual who wants to board sometimes (depending if he is going north or south) has to run around the trolley cars in order to board from the other side. To run around the trolley cars from the back takes precious time in which the trolley may pull away and leave you behind! So in order to avoid being left behind one would have to "Jump" in between the interconnecting cars to arrive promptly at the other side and board before the trolley takes off. Now as many of you brainiacs probably already figured out, this is quite dangerous as it may result in certain death. You see, if you are in between the cars at the moment the Trolley takes off, you will be thrown to the tracks below and periodicallly dismembered as you are dragged for miles by the Trolley; stop after stop until someone notices your mangled remains on the tracks or on the Trolley wheels.YUK!
Well my third ticket was for Trolley Jumping. I jumped across and speedily boarded the car. As I was boarding, some college-lookin-dude with a back pack tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around ready to pound on him when he pulled out a badge from under his shirt! Can you believe it? An undercover Transit Cop! Oh well I got pinched. Back then I was a YSS (Young Single and Stupid) so I ripped the tickets while swearing and cursing under my breath, and threw them away.
So now I am $900 in the whole not to mention my poor wife that has to suffer the consequences and she didn't even know me back then! She forgave me though...heheh.
So the moral of the story is...take all your skeletons out of the closet now, otherwise they'll come out on their own when you least expect it.
PS: DO NOT TRY TROLLEY JUMPING.
A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from the Human Resources dept here at my company notifying me of a mandatory Garnishment of Earnings from the California State Franchise Tax Board!
Basically they claimed that I owed the State three overdue fines of $300 each.
Now for many of you that may not know, the Franchise Tax Board can act as a collection agency for the state's courts to collect outstanding debts. They will basically order your employer to garnish your wages for a certain percentage according to your income.
When I first received this I was outraged!
"What? $900 [bucks from what? Are they crazy!? What in the World?! No way!I don't remember having any outstanding fines!"
Anyway after my rage died off I proceeded to investigate the matter. I learned that they were some type off traffic violation from 1998. I was even more enraged! "Six years ago! What the Crap!? I didn't even own a vehicle in 1998!" I thought I was being framed.
After further investigation I found out that the three tickets were Trolley tickets. Yes, people also get tickets on the trolley. Then it all came back to me...
...I remember going through my trolley phase when I had to take the trolley everyday from the border(I used to live in Tijuana) to go to work. I was a used car salesman at the world famous "Mile of Cars". Sometimes in commission-only Used-Car-Sales, you find yourself without any cash flow sooo...sometimes (more rather than some)I had to ride the trolley without paying. As long as you keep an eye out for the fat Transit Police, they won't catch you (Mind you I did these things before becoming a Christian). Well two of the tickets were for catching a free-ride, and the third one was for what SD people call "Trolley Jumping".
Let me explain this term (Warning.Definition may contain but not limited to the following: Decapitations, blood, animal cruelty, human intestines, pigeon pancreas, hot monkey-brain soup, bitten twinkies, and Canadians. Images are not suitable for people under 21 or Canadians). Ok...Trolley Jumping is acted out when an individual arrives at the trolley station as the trolley is about to pull out. The trolley in San Diego is a train like vehicle made up of four cars attached together just like a train. Passengers board or "unboard"(couldn't remember a term for getting of the trolley) the trolley from only one side of the train, to avoid getting trampled by the in-coming train. Since the trolley cars are about to take off, and they take off pretty fast(0-30mph in 3 seconds), the individual who wants to board sometimes (depending if he is going north or south) has to run around the trolley cars in order to board from the other side. To run around the trolley cars from the back takes precious time in which the trolley may pull away and leave you behind! So in order to avoid being left behind one would have to "Jump" in between the interconnecting cars to arrive promptly at the other side and board before the trolley takes off. Now as many of you brainiacs probably already figured out, this is quite dangerous as it may result in certain death. You see, if you are in between the cars at the moment the Trolley takes off, you will be thrown to the tracks below and periodicallly dismembered as you are dragged for miles by the Trolley; stop after stop until someone notices your mangled remains on the tracks or on the Trolley wheels.YUK!
Well my third ticket was for Trolley Jumping. I jumped across and speedily boarded the car. As I was boarding, some college-lookin-dude with a back pack tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around ready to pound on him when he pulled out a badge from under his shirt! Can you believe it? An undercover Transit Cop! Oh well I got pinched. Back then I was a YSS (Young Single and Stupid) so I ripped the tickets while swearing and cursing under my breath, and threw them away.
So now I am $900 in the whole not to mention my poor wife that has to suffer the consequences and she didn't even know me back then! She forgave me though...heheh.
So the moral of the story is...take all your skeletons out of the closet now, otherwise they'll come out on their own when you least expect it.
PS: DO NOT TRY TROLLEY JUMPING.
Bees Bee-Ware
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I love this video (Due to the graphic nature of this video all bee lovers must exit the premises before playing it)
Hornets From Hell
Hornets From Hell
Combo #2 With No Chop Suey
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Just looking at this made me wanna go to Panda Express
Mhhhh...
This reminded me of a very good friend of mine
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