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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
brought to you by The Vatican
A Robbery...or not
Thursday, June 24, 2004
The scene yesterday morning:
5:00am
ALARM: Pupurupupu (Jazz Music)
ENRIQUE: MMpphhh...(Swats the snooze button)
5:07am
ALARM: Pupurupupu (Jazz;Yes my snooze button is only for 7min. drives me nuts!)
5:25am
TATIANA: Unngggfff...
ENRIQUE: Arrghhh...(Swats the snooze button)
5:32am
ALARM: Blablablabla...yalkeddyshmakeddy...blablabla (Advertisements)
6:38AM
TATIANA: I'm getting up.
ENRIQUE: zzz...zzz...
6:40am
TATIANA: Get up lazy.
ENRIQUE: (comatose)
6:41am
TATIANA: Enrique!Get over here! The screen door is open and the blinds are broken!
ENRIQUE: What the crap!?
TATIANA: Look!Someone broke in!OMG!
ENRIQUE: (Jumps out of bed and runs into the living room)OMG! What in the world!
*(They both stare at the screen door open and the blinds on the floor in amazement)*
ENRIQUE: (Begins searching the apt. for any hidden intruders and/or missing items)
TATIANA: (Goes back to the daily hygienic activities as if nothing has happened)
ENRIQUE: XBOX in place, tv in place, DVDs in place, car keys in place, fridge intact, nice IKEA furniture intact. Huh?
TATIANA: Are my ALIAS DVDs there?
ENRIQUE: Yes. Strange, nothing's missing. But why? How? Who?
So obviously someone broke into our apt last night. We're on the first floor, we have a sliding window that leads to a small fenced patio. It's the kind of fence where you can put your foot on the bottom rail and hop over to the other side very easily. The whole fence is covered in dust cause I never clean it. I was looking for clues and noticed that there was no dust on a small part of the fence, which indicated to me the exact location where the perpetrator hopped over.
There are a few theories surrounding this mystery, feel free to use your keen investigative abilities to add or analyze them.
1.- My alarm clock went off and startled the thief, so he took off without any booty.
2.- Some drunk neighbor stumbled home and couldn't open his front door, so he decided to crawl in through the patio. Once inside he realized he was in the wrong apt and took off.
3.- Someone pulled a "Creepy Crawly"(see definition below) on us like
Charles Manson used to do.
What do you think?
5:00am
ALARM: Pupurupupu (Jazz Music)
ENRIQUE: MMpphhh...(Swats the snooze button)
5:07am
ALARM: Pupurupupu (Jazz;Yes my snooze button is only for 7min. drives me nuts!)
5:25am
TATIANA: Unngggfff...
ENRIQUE: Arrghhh...(Swats the snooze button)
5:32am
ALARM: Blablablabla...yalkeddyshmakeddy...blablabla (Advertisements)
6:38AM
TATIANA: I'm getting up.
ENRIQUE: zzz...zzz...
6:40am
TATIANA: Get up lazy.
ENRIQUE: (comatose)
6:41am
TATIANA: Enrique!Get over here! The screen door is open and the blinds are broken!
ENRIQUE: What the crap!?
TATIANA: Look!Someone broke in!OMG!
ENRIQUE: (Jumps out of bed and runs into the living room)OMG! What in the world!
*(They both stare at the screen door open and the blinds on the floor in amazement)*
ENRIQUE: (Begins searching the apt. for any hidden intruders and/or missing items)
TATIANA: (Goes back to the daily hygienic activities as if nothing has happened)
ENRIQUE: XBOX in place, tv in place, DVDs in place, car keys in place, fridge intact, nice IKEA furniture intact. Huh?
TATIANA: Are my ALIAS DVDs there?
ENRIQUE: Yes. Strange, nothing's missing. But why? How? Who?
So obviously someone broke into our apt last night. We're on the first floor, we have a sliding window that leads to a small fenced patio. It's the kind of fence where you can put your foot on the bottom rail and hop over to the other side very easily. The whole fence is covered in dust cause I never clean it. I was looking for clues and noticed that there was no dust on a small part of the fence, which indicated to me the exact location where the perpetrator hopped over.
There are a few theories surrounding this mystery, feel free to use your keen investigative abilities to add or analyze them.
1.- My alarm clock went off and startled the thief, so he took off without any booty.
2.- Some drunk neighbor stumbled home and couldn't open his front door, so he decided to crawl in through the patio. Once inside he realized he was in the wrong apt and took off.
3.- Someone pulled a "Creepy Crawly"(see definition below) on us like
Charles Manson used to do.
What do you think?
Definition of a Creepy Crawly: The "Manson Family" used to go break in to people's houses when they were empty or at night when everyone was asleep. They wouldn't steal anything nor harm anyone, they would just do weird stuff like turn all the chairs upside down, re-arrange all the furniture, or empty out the fridge...stuff like that just to creep out the residents.
Just as I Posted Yesterday...sort of
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Funny how coincidences make life more exciting...
...So I went to Jack in the Boxwith a friend last night. We took the drive thru option. They handed us the food minus the fries...so they asked us to pull out front and park then someone would bring us the fries (I notice Drive thrus are doing this more often now, maybe they should be called Park-Thrus)
Anyway, as we're pulling out of the drive-thru, some tall African-American fellow that looks like a crack-head just walks out right in front of the car and my friend (Adam) almost runs him over *Screeech!*
Adam being a 16 yr old white teenager that has not been exposed to this sad world much, jokingly says "Sorry Brotha"...uh-oh
I have many black friends that I joke around with, but you do not call a black stranger a "brotha" unless you're black too! Fortunately it appeared that the gentleman did not hear us so I proceeded to do the famous "fiu" movement with my hand across my forehead and went on our way. So we park outside the JinB to wait for the fries, when we notice that the same guy starts walking towards the car. He slowly makes his way over looking at both of us with an intense stare. "For sure he wants trouble" I thought "for sure he heard Adam call him a brotha and now he wants payback" I said in my head. Adam was sweating bullets as he saw the guy step towards the car and leaned over into the driver's window. As I prepared to throw the freezing cold medium coke I was holding in my hand into his face the guy said..."You guys got any crystal?"
What a coincidence! I immediately remembered how I posted yesterday about getting asked for weed all the time because I'm Mexican...but crystal? C'mon!
...So I went to Jack in the Boxwith a friend last night. We took the drive thru option. They handed us the food minus the fries...so they asked us to pull out front and park then someone would bring us the fries (I notice Drive thrus are doing this more often now, maybe they should be called Park-Thrus)
Anyway, as we're pulling out of the drive-thru, some tall African-American fellow that looks like a crack-head just walks out right in front of the car and my friend (Adam) almost runs him over *Screeech!*
Adam being a 16 yr old white teenager that has not been exposed to this sad world much, jokingly says "Sorry Brotha"...uh-oh
I have many black friends that I joke around with, but you do not call a black stranger a "brotha" unless you're black too! Fortunately it appeared that the gentleman did not hear us so I proceeded to do the famous "fiu" movement with my hand across my forehead and went on our way. So we park outside the JinB to wait for the fries, when we notice that the same guy starts walking towards the car. He slowly makes his way over looking at both of us with an intense stare. "For sure he wants trouble" I thought "for sure he heard Adam call him a brotha and now he wants payback" I said in my head. Adam was sweating bullets as he saw the guy step towards the car and leaned over into the driver's window. As I prepared to throw the freezing cold medium coke I was holding in my hand into his face the guy said..."You guys got any crystal?"
What a coincidence! I immediately remembered how I posted yesterday about getting asked for weed all the time because I'm Mexican...but crystal? C'mon!
You Know You're A Mexican (not a Chicano) Living in California...
Monday, June 21, 2004
1.- When at least 2 members of your family work in a restaurant (As busers or cooks).
2.- If strangers come up to you asking you to sell them weed.
3.- When someone calls you Juan or Pedro and your name is Jose.
4.- When people at your church run to talk to you about the soccer game on TV, when in fact you hate soccer.
5.- When everyone is surprised to know you used to play tennis in Mexico.
6.- If Desperado has another sequel and everyone wants to hear your review on it.
7.- If at least 2 white people have called you "rico suave" with a stupid looking smirk on their faces.
8.- When someone wants to thank you by offering you a "burrito" and a "cerveza".
9.- If all your white buddies think that people actually drink Corona with lime in Mexico.
10.- When your white friends plan a trip south of the border and they invite you to come along because they need a guide.
11.- When your down in Mexico at a restaurant with your white friends and they're afraid to order water.
12.- When some of your white friends are appalled to know that in Mexico you can't drink in public as most of them assumed.
13.- When people call you "esse" or "holmes" even though you've never used those words in your entire life.
14.- When your white friends didn't know "Baja" was a state in Mexico.
15.- When your white friends didn't know Mexico had states.
15.- Whenever your discussing the city that you're from with your white friends, they have an image of a quaint, unpaved, cantina-filled, dirt infested little town with men in sombreros and burros walking around like this.
16.- When people are shocked to find out that you did not "jump" the border to get here, nor did any of your family members, but you actually did it legally.
16.- More to come later...
NOTE: All of these were written by me. They are not exaggerations, they are all true and accurate things that I have experienced as a Mexican in California.
2.- If strangers come up to you asking you to sell them weed.
3.- When someone calls you Juan or Pedro and your name is Jose.
4.- When people at your church run to talk to you about the soccer game on TV, when in fact you hate soccer.
5.- When everyone is surprised to know you used to play tennis in Mexico.
6.- If Desperado has another sequel and everyone wants to hear your review on it.
7.- If at least 2 white people have called you "rico suave" with a stupid looking smirk on their faces.
8.- When someone wants to thank you by offering you a "burrito" and a "cerveza".
9.- If all your white buddies think that people actually drink Corona with lime in Mexico.
10.- When your white friends plan a trip south of the border and they invite you to come along because they need a guide.
11.- When your down in Mexico at a restaurant with your white friends and they're afraid to order water.
12.- When some of your white friends are appalled to know that in Mexico you can't drink in public as most of them assumed.
13.- When people call you "esse" or "holmes" even though you've never used those words in your entire life.
14.- When your white friends didn't know "Baja" was a state in Mexico.
15.- When your white friends didn't know Mexico had states.
15.- Whenever your discussing the city that you're from with your white friends, they have an image of a quaint, unpaved, cantina-filled, dirt infested little town with men in sombreros and burros walking around like this.
16.- When people are shocked to find out that you did not "jump" the border to get here, nor did any of your family members, but you actually did it legally.
16.- More to come later...
NOTE: All of these were written by me. They are not exaggerations, they are all true and accurate things that I have experienced as a Mexican in California.
Viva Las Vegas
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Well this last weekend Tatiana and I packed up and headed to Sin City, USA.
We went there to surprise one of my best friends Jason Shugars for his big 30th B-day.
It was a great time. Vegas always gives me a very pure and positive energy (ironic since it's full of gambling, pornography, drunkenness, crime and prostitution). I don't know why but there's something about Vegas that makes me feel good. I love the view of the strip whether it's by day or by night, it is gorgeous.
Jason was really surprised but I won't tell more about that because I want to give him a chance to tell you on his blog. Here are some picturesthat he posted.
Tats and I decided to save some mula on the rooms so she found a cheap Casino/Hotel on the strip next to Circus Circus for $49/night! The place is called Westward-Ho...yes you read correctly...Westard-Ho!
I'll tell you this much, the hotel looked like a two-story Bates Motel, the bed was extremely uncomfortable, if you wanted to iron your clothes you had to borrow an iron from the front desk for 2 hours. The A/C made more noise than a monster truck show. The keys to our room were actually keys, not just keys though, but big huge heavy metallic keys with a large square piece of metal at the end (so you wouldn't lose it), if you threw one of these keys at someone you could probably kill them! Westward-Ho is not worth saving $20/night, do not stay there.
On the brighter side, we had the Champagne Brunch at Cravings, a buffet at the Mirage and Holy Canoli was that awesome! It is by far the best buffet I have had, I definitely recommend it. On the darker side I did lose all my gambling money...bummer.
On the brighter side, while we were walking through the Bellagio, I shook hands with Matthew Perry (Chandler from Friends). He was hanging out with some of his buddies when my 13/20 vision wife spotted him from afar. So I went over to him and said "Hey Matt" he turned around to look at me and then I said "Good job with Friends" as I extended my hand towards him. He then said "Thanks" with his trademark upside down smirk on his face as he shook my hand. Then I asked him "Why do you always have that stupid smirk on your face?", he got quite upset and his buddies did too. I proceeded to laugh out loud at him and point my finger in a taunting fashion he then grabbed my finger and snapped it back breaking all three phalange bones in my index finger (Ouch). I lunged myself at him and gave him a head butt on the nose, he fell and all his buddies (4 of them) began pounding on me. The Bellagio security rushed us and we all spent the night locked up in Casino security...that sucked.
Just kidding, I did shake his hand though.
That is the second time I " bump" into a celebrity at the Bellagio. Last Christmas I saw Steve Harvey there, Tatiana spotted him also with her 13/20 vision (she also spotted OJ Simpson at LAX and Seth Green at the Vegas airport, all in different trips).
Anyway...good times, good food, and good friends.
We went there to surprise one of my best friends Jason Shugars for his big 30th B-day.
It was a great time. Vegas always gives me a very pure and positive energy (ironic since it's full of gambling, pornography, drunkenness, crime and prostitution). I don't know why but there's something about Vegas that makes me feel good. I love the view of the strip whether it's by day or by night, it is gorgeous.
Jason was really surprised but I won't tell more about that because I want to give him a chance to tell you on his blog. Here are some picturesthat he posted.
Tats and I decided to save some mula on the rooms so she found a cheap Casino/Hotel on the strip next to Circus Circus for $49/night! The place is called Westward-Ho...yes you read correctly...Westard-Ho!
I'll tell you this much, the hotel looked like a two-story Bates Motel, the bed was extremely uncomfortable, if you wanted to iron your clothes you had to borrow an iron from the front desk for 2 hours. The A/C made more noise than a monster truck show. The keys to our room were actually keys, not just keys though, but big huge heavy metallic keys with a large square piece of metal at the end (so you wouldn't lose it), if you threw one of these keys at someone you could probably kill them! Westward-Ho is not worth saving $20/night, do not stay there.
On the brighter side, we had the Champagne Brunch at Cravings, a buffet at the Mirage and Holy Canoli was that awesome! It is by far the best buffet I have had, I definitely recommend it. On the darker side I did lose all my gambling money...bummer.
On the brighter side, while we were walking through the Bellagio, I shook hands with Matthew Perry (Chandler from Friends). He was hanging out with some of his buddies when my 13/20 vision wife spotted him from afar. So I went over to him and said "Hey Matt" he turned around to look at me and then I said "Good job with Friends" as I extended my hand towards him. He then said "Thanks" with his trademark upside down smirk on his face as he shook my hand. Then I asked him "Why do you always have that stupid smirk on your face?", he got quite upset and his buddies did too. I proceeded to laugh out loud at him and point my finger in a taunting fashion he then grabbed my finger and snapped it back breaking all three phalange bones in my index finger (Ouch). I lunged myself at him and gave him a head butt on the nose, he fell and all his buddies (4 of them) began pounding on me. The Bellagio security rushed us and we all spent the night locked up in Casino security...that sucked.
Just kidding, I did shake his hand though.
That is the second time I " bump" into a celebrity at the Bellagio. Last Christmas I saw Steve Harvey there, Tatiana spotted him also with her 13/20 vision (she also spotted OJ Simpson at LAX and Seth Green at the Vegas airport, all in different trips).
Anyway...good times, good food, and good friends.
Just In...
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
...Ed and Heidi Adkins are having a baby see the post here
CONGRATULATIONS
CONGRATULATIONS
Death is on the Prowl
The Grim Reaper is lurking over my family right now. For some strange reason a few tragedies hit home within the last month:
A month ago my 36 year old cousin suffered a heart attack at the movie theatre in the middle of a movie, he died in the theatre with his wife next to him...bummer. Then a week later or so my wife's 58 year old cousin suffers a stroke in the middle of a bypass surgery and he is now on life support (they gave him 10 days to live). And then this past weekend my wife's grandma is rushed to the hospital for what doctors said at first was a mild-heart attack, now they don't know for sure what it was...
...my father can go any minute because of his heart problems (he has to take 14 pills a day or he croaks), and one of my aunts had some sort of growth removed from her liver a few weeks ago (We all thought it was cancer, turns out it wasn't).
Anyway it feels like Mr. Kickthebucket has his eyes on our families and I can't do jack about it! Yea I can pray, but if it's your time to go, it won't matter how much you pray you're gonna go.
Tatiana and I have never really lived through any close relative's death before, and I guess it's just time we did. Something that I am realizing is that death is normal man!
It's just part of the cycle, we're all gonna go some day. One day the Grim Reaper will come for you whether you're ready or not...have a nice day.
PS: Even if you're young it's a good idea to have your post-death(no pun intended) arrangements taken care of now so it won't be a burden to your loved ones (ie: burial, last wishes, what type of religious ceremony would you like?, incineration, where would you want your ashes?, organ donation,...etc). Talk it over with someone so they'll know in case the Reaper comes for you soon...good luck!
A month ago my 36 year old cousin suffered a heart attack at the movie theatre in the middle of a movie, he died in the theatre with his wife next to him...bummer. Then a week later or so my wife's 58 year old cousin suffers a stroke in the middle of a bypass surgery and he is now on life support (they gave him 10 days to live). And then this past weekend my wife's grandma is rushed to the hospital for what doctors said at first was a mild-heart attack, now they don't know for sure what it was...
...my father can go any minute because of his heart problems (he has to take 14 pills a day or he croaks), and one of my aunts had some sort of growth removed from her liver a few weeks ago (We all thought it was cancer, turns out it wasn't).
Anyway it feels like Mr. Kickthebucket has his eyes on our families and I can't do jack about it! Yea I can pray, but if it's your time to go, it won't matter how much you pray you're gonna go.
Tatiana and I have never really lived through any close relative's death before, and I guess it's just time we did. Something that I am realizing is that death is normal man!
It's just part of the cycle, we're all gonna go some day. One day the Grim Reaper will come for you whether you're ready or not...have a nice day.
PS: Even if you're young it's a good idea to have your post-death(no pun intended) arrangements taken care of now so it won't be a burden to your loved ones (ie: burial, last wishes, what type of religious ceremony would you like?, incineration, where would you want your ashes?, organ donation,...etc). Talk it over with someone so they'll know in case the Reaper comes for you soon...good luck!
Thank You Ed
Friday, June 04, 2004
Back in January I jumped into the Blog-World blind as a bat. Since I don't own a computer I do all my bloggin at work. This doesn't leave me with much time to learn the ropes about bloggin since I'm at the office (Hey, I must do some work).
Because of this I found myself in a 3rd-world-bloggin state. I do everything the old fashioned way.
Thank God for my friend Ed that reached out his arm to pull me out of one of the underdeveloped-blog pits that I was wallowing in.
As you may note (on my side bar) I have syndicated my site; you can now subscribe to my blog so that you may read it in RSS! I gotta give Ed props for mentoring me through this because I didn't even know what RSS stood for! And I can read yours too...sweet.
Because of this I found myself in a 3rd-world-bloggin state. I do everything the old fashioned way.
Thank God for my friend Ed that reached out his arm to pull me out of one of the underdeveloped-blog pits that I was wallowing in.
As you may note (on my side bar) I have syndicated my site; you can now subscribe to my blog so that you may read it in RSS! I gotta give Ed props for mentoring me through this because I didn't even know what RSS stood for! And I can read yours too...sweet.
CaPtIoN CoNtEsT iS BaCk
As requested by Ben:
Great Buy
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Like I posted a few days ago, I purchased Ninja Gaiden for the XBOX. This game is a great addition to the Ninja Gaiden legendary series that began as an Arcade classic and then became an all time favorite in the old-school Nintendo over a decade ago (1989). I'd say it's up there with Mario Bros. and Metroid.
It is a very well made game, it is a 3-D style fighting game were you can fight multiple opponents from every angle at the same time. The moves that Ryu has are unbelievable and they are so fast that you really feel like you're controlling a Ninja. Your opponents have a good level of intelligence (not as intelligent as the enemies in HALO though) and it is a very challenging game even in "normal" mode. I have always valued the killing and death scenes in a any video game,and this game provides me with great killing pleasure; anytime I can decapitate an enemy with a forceful blow from my sword is a good time, even better is when I can decapitate two enemies at the same time (I love the USA; this game was censored in Europe because of the decapitation move...hah!). All the characters are pretty big too, which is good for detail and realism.
Plot, how about plot? Many games now a days tirelessly work to find a deeper and better plot for their stories, since there is so . In the midst of all this plot-rivalry
Ninja Gaiden offers a very pure, true, simple and satisfying plot: REVENGE. That's it simply revenge, kill all the people involved in the slaughter of your clan.
OOhhhh yessss! I know all you men out there have at one point fantasized about someone or some group inflicting terrible damage even unto death upon your loved ones and thereafter images of yourself engaging in a militant murderous rampage to eliminate all those responsible (My fist was clenched and shaking in front of my computer screen as I read over this last statement).
As you progress in the game and as you kill more of your enemies you acquire "Karma" points which help you advance into new levels of fighting abilities, you may also collect different magic tricks and weapons that are really cool (you can use nunchucks that's awesome!).Lastly, you can play online, that's always a plus. This is a great buy and I totally recommend it.
PS: One really cool feature is that by defeating the levels with top performance, you can unlock all the Classic Ninja Gaiden Trilogy games to play!
It is a very well made game, it is a 3-D style fighting game were you can fight multiple opponents from every angle at the same time. The moves that Ryu has are unbelievable and they are so fast that you really feel like you're controlling a Ninja. Your opponents have a good level of intelligence (not as intelligent as the enemies in HALO though) and it is a very challenging game even in "normal" mode. I have always valued the killing and death scenes in a any video game,and this game provides me with great killing pleasure; anytime I can decapitate an enemy with a forceful blow from my sword is a good time, even better is when I can decapitate two enemies at the same time (I love the USA; this game was censored in Europe because of the decapitation move...hah!). All the characters are pretty big too, which is good for detail and realism.
Plot, how about plot? Many games now a days tirelessly work to find a deeper and better plot for their stories, since there is so . In the midst of all this plot-rivalry
Ninja Gaiden offers a very pure, true, simple and satisfying plot: REVENGE. That's it simply revenge, kill all the people involved in the slaughter of your clan.
OOhhhh yessss! I know all you men out there have at one point fantasized about someone or some group inflicting terrible damage even unto death upon your loved ones and thereafter images of yourself engaging in a militant murderous rampage to eliminate all those responsible (My fist was clenched and shaking in front of my computer screen as I read over this last statement).
As you progress in the game and as you kill more of your enemies you acquire "Karma" points which help you advance into new levels of fighting abilities, you may also collect different magic tricks and weapons that are really cool (you can use nunchucks that's awesome!).Lastly, you can play online, that's always a plus. This is a great buy and I totally recommend it.
PS: One really cool feature is that by defeating the levels with top performance, you can unlock all the Classic Ninja Gaiden Trilogy games to play!
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